City on a hill

Tuesday I was going about my housework when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it there were two well dressed young men standing there smiling at me. My first thought was, "What are you trying to sell me?" They started talking but I was still trying to figure things out when I noticed their name tags. They were Mormons. I knew now what was going on. I told them "No thanks" and closed the door. In that moment I was interrupted from my normal daily routine safe inside my home. As I looked out the window at the young men going to my neighbors houses I wanted to be angry at them for being false representatives of my Lord and Savior but something inside me gently reminded me our battle is not with them. They themselves may be victims entangled in the lie the enemy has fed them. “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

Then another thought occurred to me. "What are you doing to spread the Gospel?" What a great thought. At first I wanted to get defensive but when I thought about it I realized I was doing some things yet I know I fall very short of doing as good as I could. What are we doing? We are the ones that have the Spirit of the Living God inside of us. How are we sharing that? Are we willing to get the door shut on us twenty times before we get one person who will actually listen to us or are we so concerned we will step on toes that we tiptoe around the subject and justify it by saying they can see our walk through the way we live and that is enough. We must speak it! We must not be afraid to speak out for the One who has touched us so deeply! Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? Romans 10:14

On Sunday's my Pastor is going through the book of John. We are on chapter 18 where Peter denies Christ. My Pastor pointed out that John, the writer of this gospel, was also there. He didn't deny Christ as Peter did, yet John remained silent and did not speak up for Jesus. Silence is as much of a sin as denial. He explained how Peter was warming himself by the fire, as were the people who hated Jesus, hoping they didn't bring up the subject of Jesus. Are we like that, warming ourselves with the companionship of the world, hoping they don't bring up Jesus, causing the boat to get rocked and possibly interrupt our comfort? We need to be careful whose counsel we are taking and who we are confiding in. “Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. ” Psalm 1:1

I'm not saying we need to knock door to door. Although if you feel God leading you to do that, by all means go ahead. What I am saying is it was good for me to have my day interrupted and remember we are in a battle. To remember there is a broken, dying world out there. To remember the enemy never sleeps. He is patient and diligent. To remember well intentions are not good enough. We must have action behind our devotion for the Lord. “What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about the physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is on God. Good! Even the demons believe that – and shudder....As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” James 2:14-19, 26

I have some brothers and sisters in Christ who are doing a wonderful job of spreading God's Word, showing God's love. Kudos to you! Keep up the good work!

It is good to evaluate yourself and ask God to show you how He thinks you're doing. Within the comfort of my own home sometimes it's easy to forget about the world outside my door. By that evening I had out set aside the thoughts of the morning but they were quickly brought up again when I heard on the radio there was a shooting at a mall in Oregon. My heart sank. Then only a few days later the tragic shooting at the elementary school in Connecticut. What do we even do with that one? My husband and I try to make sense of it all but there is none to be found. We live in an evil world. I cried for those lost. I cried and prayed, and continue to pray for those who witnessed the events and those who's lives have been forever changed. I hugged and kissed all my children and made sure they know I love them.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4 Have you ever played with shadows? It's fun to see the different shapes and animals you can make or even have a shadow show. The illusion you get from shadows can be so far from the truth but it looks so real. Things look bigger or scarier then they really are. When you turn on the light you see plainly what was causing the shadow and your fears are calmed. As I was pondering the tragedy at the elementary school the Lord was showing me not to let this evil thing overshadow His beauty. I will try to explain what I mean by that but in no way am I trying to put a Christian band-aid on these events. Grieve, mourn, and pray with and for these families. “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” I Corinthians 12:26 I was brought some comfort by the thought that God has overcome the evil in this world and what we see can sometimes be a shadow of evil made to look huge, like a the shadow of a mouse in a nightlight, but we know God is with us and because of that we are not consumed, the world is not hopeless. We, those of us who are believers in Christ, are that light for the world. We have the hope the world is seeking. What must shine our light like a city on a hill. “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on it's stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

Let me encourage fellow believers to purposefully shine your light and speak of God's saving grace at every opportunity. For those who are not believers, consider the reason why Christians are so excited to celebrate this Christmas season. It's not about presents. It's about the one who came to save us from all this junk we see in the world. Yes, the bad things are still there but there is more life and joy and love in Christ then the world can possibly show you. This is a great season to take a closer look at hope that is in Christ.

When troubles seem like impossible walls

Our troubles can sometimes look so overwhelming, so impossible that whenever we look around all we can see are walls.  We feel like we're trapped.  Like this situation cannot be overcome.  For those of us who cast our cares on the Lord and trust Him we do just that.  Except let's face it, often we try to control the situation ourselves and even though we know we need to give those things over to the Lord, we sometimes take back the troubles we've given Him.  As if He can't handle them on His own or maybe we think our way is better. 

Have you ever seen a picture or documentary on TV about termites?  They make HUGE homes that are well over six to thirty feet tall and as hard as concrete.  God has enabled these creatures to make a solution that when mixed with dirt becomes very hard.  Seemingly impenetrable. 

Have you ever felt about as big as ant or termite in comparison to a situation you are dealing with in life?  Your problem is as big as a termite home.  To a little critter like that, six to thirty feet has to be amazingly high.  In our minds the walls of our situation are so impossible that sometimes even those of us with faith want to try and "help" God fix it.  We get anxious if we can't see or think of a solution to our situation. 

Now let's take another perspective.  First of all, as humans we look at that termite mound and are impressed with the determination and creation of these critters and though the mound is large, it isn't HUGE in comparison to the size of a person.  It is hard as concrete but man has made tools that can break apart concrete with ease.  We know this mound is not impenetrable. 

 Let's go one step more.  God, Our Father, Savior, Redeemer, Healer, Comforter, Restored of my soul, ….Creator.  Just a few names of my awesome Lord and Savior.  Think about all those names and what that entails.  No one can save the soul.  That's impossible for man but possible for God.  Not only possible but completed because salvation is for all those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.  "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved." Acts 16:31  There's only one Savior.  He is also the Creator.  How awesome are His creations.  From the small termite that can make huge mounds to the depths of the oceans.  So deep that some areas can not be explored by man, to the awesome ends of the universe.  I love the grandeur of the universe.  How wonderful are the stars and the planets and the harmony which they move.  I am left in awe and wonder time and time again as I think about how precisely God placed our planet so we wouldn't burn up, freeze, or fly off the planet.  Such precision and genius in nature.  What a magnificent God we serve!

Now, what was that about your problem again?  How impossible does that wall look?  You may be like a termite in your situation but to God your wall looks like a molecule.  He sees all of time and space.  He IS the very breath of life you breathe.  If you are a child of God you better believe He's got your back!  That does not guarantee that things will go exactly as you planned or hoped but if you allow God it will go exactly as He desires and THAT will give Him all the glory.

 May nothing in my life be done in vain.  May no storm or valley I walk through be done for nothing but may everything, EVERY fiber of my soul, every breath I breathe be for God's glory.  So that others can see Christ shine and grow closer to God because of it.  This is my prayer as I, like many of you, wonder about a life situation, a "wall" that faces me.  What, my friend, will you ever face that God can not handle?  Is there anything Jesus won't face for you?  No precious child of God, there is nothing God will not face for you.  Are you willing to do what Jesus wants you to do?  Let go of your fear and trust Him.  The one who holds the galaxies in His hands also holds you.       

The love and faith of a child

Last night I came home from MOPS and the kids were in their jammies, about to go to bed.  I got to the middle of the room before one of the kids saw me and announced to the others, "Mommy's home!"  At the same time all four said, "Mommy!" and ran towards me and gave me a big hug.  Here I was in the middle of this big hug with a child in front, behind, one to the left and the right.  I felt so loved.  My heart melted. 

These kiddos know me very well.  They see me when I get angry and when I'm forgetful.  They know I don't keep my house in perfect order and they don't care.  They know I love them and take care them. Children love so unconditionally.  I want to love like that! 


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The other day I was explaining to my kids why we have Thanksgiving.  Then I asked each of them to tell me something they are thankful for. When we got to my 5yr old son he said, "I'm thankful that you are going to get better because I prayed about that in my bed."  He was referring to a cold I've had for weeks that he's heard my husband praying about.  I was so proud and a little surprised at how confident he was that this was a matter-of-fact.  I could see the absolute faith of this child.  Not a shadow of doubt in him.  I then remember what Jesus said about recieving the kingdom of God like a child. (Matthew 10:14-15)  That's mountain moving faith.  May my children always have that kind of faith.        

God provides

Since I've been losing weight lately my clothes are big on me. We don't have money to buy new clothes so I use belts to keep my pants on. I prayed for clothes but felt a little silly because I feel like I have so much, how could I ask for more.

About a month ago my sister noticed how lose my clothes were. She thought she had some clothes that might fit so she sent me a box a few days ago. I tried them on and most of them fit nicely. Then I remembered my sister-in-law gave me some clothes almost a year ago. She is a small, petite lady so when I looked at the sizes I just laughed and said I'll NEVER fit into that but they were good quality clothes, so I decided to keep them for my oldest daughter to grow into in a few years. I pulled the two boxes of clothes out of the closet and tried them on. At least half of them fit me. I was happy to have clothes.  God knew almost a year ago I would need these clothes and sent them my way. It's so awesome how He provides our every need, sometimes before we know we need it.

There are so many times He's provided for Marc and I and we stood amazed.  This house is one of them and I can't tell you how many Christmas' He's provided presents for us or how many times we've recieved food or school supplies from generous people.  I'm also thankful He's provided friends and family members who are there to pray for us or just chat with when we need.  You all mean so much to me.  One of my love languages is quality time so when people take the time to tell me they care or hang out with me, it means so much.  Thanks to all of you who have, are and will. 

Oh how generous and gracious our Lord was!  He filled me with the faith and love that comes from Christ Jesus.  I Timothy 1:14

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we all ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen.  Ephesians 3:20-21

Weight loss

Well, there goes another pound.  Most people would say, "Good job"  "That's great."  Not this time.  I've been losing weight for the last year and don't know why.  Only within the last few weeks did I realize it was a problem.  I knew I was losing weight but just laughed it off.  Most people would love to have my "problem".  A few weeks ago it's like God started tapping me on the shoulder to look into this.  Up til that point it never dawned on me this could be a health issue.  I went to the Dr. last week and he ran some blood tests, all of which came back fine.  We sent two more tests in today.  When you look at all the things it could be it can be daunting...downright scary. 

In late October I went to women's retreat with some ladies from church.  The presence of the Lord was awesome!  One thing He kept telling me is, "There is no where you can go where I will not be."  That reminder brings me comfort cause honestly, I've been scared several times the last few weeks.  At times I just wanted to call someone and say,"I'm scared.  Help!"  I've wanted someone to take me by the hand and assure me they are there. 

My husband has been awesome.  He's been there for me many times.  Sometimes just a hug, other times he's been on the phone with medical personal and digging into things.  There's been several at my church who've showed concern and are praying.  Thank you so much!  It means alot to me to know you care. 

Now this could be as little as stress or it could be something bigger.  The unknown is hard.  If I knew what it was I could deal with it but not knowing is hard.  My comfort comes in knowing God is with me, He'll never forsake me.  He's my Great Physician and knows exactly what's going on.  He is my Healer.  My help, my peace, my strength, the solid rock on which I stand.  This may feel bigger then me but my God is WAY bigger then this.  He is everything...everything I need.  Trouble comes when I take my eyes off of Him for even a moment.  I won't superspiritualize it.  That doesn't mean I don't get scared.  I do and I think that's normal and okay.  As long as I'm not doubting who God is. 

A few days ago I weighed myself and was so excited because I gained two pounds.  Then I lost one of those pounds.  Just now I weighed myself again and not only lost the other pound but an additional one as well.  That means this is the lightest I've been.  I weigh less then I did in high school.  I've lost 27lbs this year and don't know why.  All prayer warriors and friends please pray!  #1 Pray I find answers.  We've found many things it's not and praise the Lord for that.  I would like to know what it is and how to fix it.  #2 Pray for healing. I know God heals.  Now is not a time to debate on healing.  Now is a time to know people care and to pray. I believe God has given man the wisdom about the body we know as medical science and I believe sometimes He uses that to heal.  I will not limit what God can do or how He does it.  #3 Pray also for peace of mind on my husband and I and that we keep our eyes focused on God and not the situation.  Thank you all so much for praying.  It means so much.    

Expectations

As a child, teenager and young adult we have dreams and desires for our life. As time grows closer for those things to happen our excitement wells. Some things I hoped to encounter in my life were/are a loving joyful marriage, going to college, being a mother, owning my own home, financial stability. Some of these things have happened, some haven't. Some have happened only after serious bumps in the road. What do we do in those times when it looks like our dreams are far off or seem impossible? What do we do when what really happens, is a far cry of our expectations?

I am all too familiar with expectations falling short as I'm sure many of you are as well. As for my list above: I got married young but it didn't work out. We owned a home but filed bankruptcy at the time of our divorce. I've had three miscarriages. When I started out homeschooling I had very different thoughts of what I thought should happen then I do now. Same with becoming a mother. It's not like I expected it to be. It's much harder … and so much greater at the same time.

Expectations aren't just for the big things in life but the little things as well. Many of us get up in the morning and expect our day to go in a certain way. We have a schedule or order to follow. A flow we go with. We have expectations with people we come in contact with. We want our kids to listen to us, our spouse to love and support us and our friends to be there for us. These aren't bad or wrong things to expect but I've noticed that when things don't go as I hoped, especially with loved ones or people I respect, it throws me for a loop. Even these seemingly simple expectations can throw us off when they don't go according to our plan. I get angry, grumbly, down right unpleasant to be around. Sometimes even synicial, sarcastic. Hurt or weepy.

I remember a few years ago a lady in my church was going through a difficult time. The Lord prompted me to share with her a promise the He had for her. I wasn't very close to her so I thought, “I don't think so. She'll think I'm crazy.” Still I felt the Lord prompting me. As opportunity was growing closer my heart was beating faster til I felt like it would beat out of my chest. So... I stepped out in faith and trusted that this is what God was telling me to do. I went up to her and shared with her what the Lord told me. She smiled at me but I could tell wasn't genuine. As she began speaking I could tell she didn't believe me and wasn't accepting what I was telling her. In the short version she was thankful I was trying to encourage her but hasn't seen any of God's promises come true for her, only the opposite. I stood there not sure how to handle the situation. Afterward I asked the Lord what happened? I did what I was told. Why the negative response? The Lord showed me that it was only my job to do what I was told. I'm not responsible for the way she responds. The Lord still delighted in my obedience and faith.

I saw a quote once that said, “Expectations are the root of pain.” When our expectations are not meet there often is pain. We must release our hurt and our expectations to the Lord and allow Him to interrupt our daily lives in whatever fashion He sees fit. Sometimes our dashed hopes or dreams are a result of our sin or someone else's sin having it's effect on us. Other times the Lord asks us to sacrifice a dream we've held on to for so long. Just like Abraham being willing to sacrifice his only son. That was the promise him as Sarah had been waiting for. Their miracle. Their promise that would fulfill all the other promises God gave them. Yet he was obedient and trusted God had a plan. God may be asking us to sacrifice some of our dreams. It's so hard to let go BUT when we do He replaces that dream with plans of His own. Plans that ALWAYS give Him glory and He will do all of this through you, if you'll let Him. We usually can't see what His plans are when He's asking us to give Him everything but I will tell you His plan is bigger and better then ours. The joy and peace and amazing sense of purpose you get when you walk down His path is far greater then anything you expected of your dream. After all, it's not about us anyway.

As for the list of dreams I started out with, I told you some that didn't get fulfilled but here's the rest of the story. He has now given a wonderful marriage with the best guy ever! I have four beautiful children and am blessed to be able to stay home with them and raise them in the ways of the Lord. Through an amazing miracle from God we own our home. I still want to go to college and have pursued it several times but always come to a wall that stops me. I was getting very frustrated a few months ago but the Lord is showing me to stay content. He has plans for me, I've not been forgotten. It's all in His timing. When I look back on all the things He's done for me I know that is true.

I still love you

     One of the things I hate the most is to miss out on an opportunity to minister to someone for the Lord.  Time is short and the world is in desperate need of the Father's love.  I never want to miss an opportunity.  Today I feel like I did that.  I think I missed a big opportunity this weekend to be a light for the Lord.  When I realized this I immediately felt guilty.  I began getting plagued with thoughts of being worthless and really not cut out for the work God has given me for His glory.  To influence and be an example of the love God has to the people my life touches.  Before I knew it I was angry.  I began to dig deeper into my heart to see what was spurning all this on.  The emotions happened so fast I wasn't able to figure it out til I took a minute to evaluate my heart.  When I realized I was angry because I thought I missed an opportunity I felt the still quite voice of the Lord say, "I still love you."  He was telling me He loved me but He was also reminding me of a story I wrote about my son when he was three.  I found it a few weeks back in my computer files.  Here it is:

         

     Last week my 3yr old son was wanting something I told him he couldn't have. He was mad at me and started throwing a fit. I told him if he was going to act that way he needed to go to the corner. This upset him even more and he ran off to his room crying and throwing a bigger fit. I followed behind him, picked him up and started to carry him to the corner. Part of the way there he was able to wiggle himself loose.  He was sitting at my feet and said, “I'm mad at you!” I was a little shocked because this was the first time he verbalized his anger with me. I said calmly, “That's okay. You can be mad at me. Go to the corner.” He unhappily made his way to the corner but didn't get all the way there. He was whining as he was on his knees with his face to the floor in complete defiance of what I was telling him to do. He said again, “I'm mad at you!” I said,”That's okay, you can be mad at me.” I waited for awhile then I called him by name and said, "you can be mad at me but I still love you.”

At that moment I thought of how Father God must feel sometimes when we are throwing a fit because we don't get what we want. We pout and whine and intentionally don't do what we know we're supposed to because we're mad at God. All the while Father God stands there calmly. Looking down at us lovingly as we are throwing our fit. Yet, He stands firm on what He expects of us. Finally He says, “You can be mad at me, but I still love you.”

It was less then a minute later my son calmed down. He was still in a ball at my feet but quiet. I said, "Are you done now?” still keeping a calm and loving composure. He said “Yeah.”

“You need to go to the corner.”

He got up and went to the corner. When he got done I sat him on my lap and talked to him. The fact that I loved him reguardless of how he felt about me seemed to be calming and a sense of security for him. How much more true is that of our Abba Father? We can be assured that we are always loved by Him. He still expects us to do what He asks but we will never loose His love.

Although I was not being defiant like my son was in this story, I still felt like I blew it.  There's a place I probably should have been and I decided not to go which resulted in me missing out on some opportunities to minister for the Lord.  I was beating myself up and for some reason thought God was too.  When in reality, the enemy was lying to me by telling me I'm worthless and should give up.  When the Lord whispered "I still love you" in my heart He was reminding me that even though I may have messed up that doesn't change the plans He has for me.  He offers me grace and took me by the hand and pulled me back to my feet again.  His plans for me are still the same.  Dust yourself off and go back to what you've been doing.  God still loves me and that makes ALL the difference in the world.  

Making the best of it

I've decided to make the best of things.  We don't have much money and there's rarely anything left after bills are paid and food is bought.  However, I can still make the best of things.  I can beautify our home with the things we already have.  Some things will take creativity (and pinterest) to come up with but it can be done.  I don't have to wait with a woe-is-me attitude.  I've got things at my fingertips I can use.  I really love when you can take something you would throw away and make it beautiful.  That's what God did for me after all.  He made me beautiful when I wanted to give up on myself because all I saw looked worthless to me.  All I saw was a mess.  But God already had a picture of how beautiful I would become with a touch from the Master's hand. 

My heart is so thankful for all I have.  Physically; my healthy able body, my family, staying home with my children, my home, materials to make and improve things, and a creative mind to design with.  I'm also thankful for all He's given me spiritually; redemption, restoration, peace, joy, and my latest gift, calmness of spirit.  These are the true riches in life. When I discovered that statistically speaking we are among the poor it took me awhile before I realized it was true.  If I'm so poor why do I feel so rich?  If statics say I have so little, why do I feel so full and blessed beyond measure?  Why, because my God doesn't care about statistics.  My God is greater then anything in the universe and the gifts He gives are better than anything on the planet.  Our scales of measuring are wrong.  Just because someone is "poor" doesn't mean their life is downcast or empty.  Your income bracket doesn't measure how smart you are.  In the case of my family, we made a choice to have me stay home with the kids to raise them set apart for the Lord and school them with God in the center of their education.  Though we have to give up some material possessions, the rewards and treasures in these children far outweigh anything we may be without.  God is faithful to meet our material needs. 

So my attitude has changed to thankfulness and making the best of what I have.  Just in time to because the onslaught of materialism is on its way.  It comes with the Christmas season.  If you struggle with not being able to get things for people that you want to, take an inventory of the heart and see if their isn't a greater gift you can give them.  Personally, I enjoy spending time with my friends.  Time is something people give sparingly.  Maybe an extra dose of love.  More hugs ( I love those too) may carry them further then the gift you would have bought.  Let's keep our focus where it should be.  On God and our family and friends.       

My Rose bushes

As of this summer my family and I have lived in our home for a year. We enjoy having our own home. We love the space and we love that we have a yard. I've been enjoying getting outside and learning how to garden flowers. There are two rose bushes on the side of the house that were flowering when we moved in last summer. I knew they hadn't been tended to in at least two or more years so I figured they must be a pretty hearty breed of roses. That gave me a little more confidence that I probably wouldn't kill them if I started learning how to garden on them. I read up on roses and watched some gardening shows but I'm still not sure I'm tending to them correctly. If anyone knows how to manage these hearty but beautiful flowers I'd love some tips.

Another thing growing when we moved in was a vine that was up the side of the house and covered one whole corner. There's no flowers, just a vine that grew out of neglect to the home. When we moved in we tore the vine off the house and thought we killed the root. However I'm noticing there's a vine weaving around my rose bush. I tried to pull out the root to the vine and carefully untangle the two plants but if I don't watch it, it's not long before there's another vine trying to wrap around my roses again.

It made me think of how fear can creep into my life. If I'm not watching for it, fear will ever so slyly weave all around and try to choke off the beauty of God's grace shining through me. Fear comes in so many forms that, like that vine, it can be there and we don't even realize it. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of man, fear of not having enough money or food, fear of illness, injury and sometimes even death. For ourselves or of a loved one. There are SO many fears out there. Just think of all those phobias you hear about. Some of them are of pretty strange things. The bible shows us the only fear we should have is the fear or reverence and awe of God. To fear God is wise.

The fear of the LORD is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey His commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise him forever!

Psalm 111:10

Any other fear is NOT from God.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. II Timothy 1:7

For you have not received a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry,”Abba, Father”

Romans 8:15

I often use biblos.com as an online resource to help me look things up in the bible. When I type in “fear not” I get 446 verses that say fear not. That doesn't even include the don't be afraid's and other ways the Lord tells us not to fear. Fear is NOT of God.

I was thinking the other day of the very famous 23^rd Psalm. Verse 4 keep running through my head, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” I will fear no evil...NO EVIL. Wow! Really, when you think about it, that's strong trust in God. There is so much evil going on in the world. Turn on the news and you'll see that it's true. Local or national, it doesn't matter. It's everywhere and the closer you walk with God the more you recognize it. The only way we will fear no evil is to trust God in all things. Trust He's knows what He's doing. Trust that He is in control. Trust that He will fulfill the promise that says all things work together for good for those who love God. (Romans 8:28)

As for fear, let it have no power over you. We know that fear does not come from God. It comes from the devil and the world and we know Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33) therefore, if you have been redeemed through the blood of Jesus fear has NO power over you. Cut down that vine at the root. Pull it out and don't let fear steal the beauty God has put in you. Instead be a beautiful fragrance to the Lord as you diligently tend the garden of your heart.

Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:2

Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually. I Chronicles 16:11

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble . But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

Let's get Cookin'

Those of you who know me know I've never been big on cooking. I didn't know how to cook and it really kind of freaked me out. I cooked meals from boxes and was really good at throwing a frozen pizza in the oven. When I would rarely get brave enough to try and cook, I usually ruined it and would not try again for months. This did not give my family and I much variety in our diet and quiet frankly was not healthy for us. I've had stomach problems since I was a kid and it was just hurting more and more. I prayed for my stomach problems to go away. I knew I needed to get to the root of the problem and eat healthy. Believe it or not I also prayed I would learn how to cook. As a wife and a mother I felt so insufficient. I felt stupid and hated I didn't know how to cook.

Finally, this summer I had enough. The final straw is I was tired of my stomach constantly hurting and my children started having the same stomach issues. I KNEW I needed to get us all eating healthy so…I just started. With the help of a wonderful friend who gave me a great cookbook I opened it up and started picking out recipes. It used to intimidate me to go to the store and try and figure out where all the ingredients were. It was so foreign to me but I started doing it and it felt GREAT. My family are now eating fresh vegetables and meat. My husband joked the first few weeks when we would go to the grocery store because of all the fresh veggies in our cart. "What's that doing in there? Is this our cart?" I've gotten such a collection of spices I need a spice rack or a better way of organizing them. I've also noticed eating healthy has less packaging which makes less trash. As for the ultimate goal…my stomach is hurting less. Much less! It only hurts again if I eat to much processed foods. (I do love those sweets!) My husband is loving this change too. After being married seven years he finally has a wife that cooks real food. Now I can pass down to my children how to cook. This may sound silly and like a small thing but it was a huge obstacle for me to overcome. I'm so glad no prayer or problem is to small or silly for God.

Confession - Temptation part 4

In May I wrote a three day series on temptation.  I was dealing with a pretty strong temptation and the Lord was faithful to show me how to deal with it as I dug into the truths of His Word.  In that series I shared what I learned as I studied on temptation.  The last thing I mentioned was to confess your struggle to a friend.  Someone you know loves you and will be honest with you.  You should pray about who this should be.  I did this and the Lord dropped a name in my heart of who I should talk to.  I came up with reasons I shouldn't talk to this person but in the end I knew God was right.  This person has been trained in the specific area I was dealing with and really was the perfect person for me to talk to.  Yet, I so bad did not want to do this.  I was afraid of what she would think.  I was terribly nervous and had what I thought were great excuses to not go.  I kept praying and double checking with the Lord that this is what I really should do.  I would gladly back out if this was not God's plan.  After the third time of telling the Lord I would back out He again reminded me of what His word says about confessing:  Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  James 5:16

Submit yourselves to God.  Resist the devil and He will flee from you.

 James 4:7

Then He said not to ask Him to back out again.  I know what the Word says and if I didn't do it, it would be because I was being disobedient.  Not because He let me out of it.  I don't remember the exact wording but that was the idea and it was enough for me to shut my mouth and carry through. 

I remember stepping out of my van in front of my friend's house the day I met with her.  I said, Alright Lord, here I am.  Being obedient to you.  No matter what happens, I'm being obedient to you. 

I have to tell you, I'm glad I was.  We had small talk then got down to the heart of the matter.  By the time I left, I felt a peace because I did the right thing.  I obeyed the Lord.  And now I'm glad because every time the temptation tries to distract me, I know I have someone I will be accountable to.  I know I'm accountable to God and I know I'm accountable to my husband (who also knows what I've been dealing with) but to have that extra friend who I know knows this vulnerability about me is actually good.  I can send her a quick note asking her to pray and I know I'm not on this battlefield alone.  Just like when Moses held his hands up while Joshua was fighting the Amalekites.  Aaron and Hur came alongside Moses and held his hands steady til the battle was won. (Exodus 17:8-16)  Our friends and accountability people can come alongside us and keep our hands held high to the Lord while the battle is being fought.  We need to have this connection with each other because we need each other.  God never intended for us to fight our battles alone.  True, we are not alone because God is always with us but often times He helps us using another brother or sister in Christ.  There is NO ONE who never needs help from anyone else.  We need to sacrifice our pride and confess to each other.  Be honest with each other.  Don't be afraid to say I'm struggling here.  Forget those lies Satan is telling you that this will be damaging to your reputation because after all you are supposed to be a Christian.  Or the fear of being rejected or laughed at or gossiped about.  If you've prayed about who to talk to and God gives you a name you go to that person.  Their response is between them and God.  You're responsible for being obedient to what He told you to do.  Chances are good God won't send you to someone who will respond negatively.  God is for you.  God is for you being set apart for Him and walking purely in His sight.  He loves you and won't steer you wrong.      

My mothering reality

     A mom on my MOPS facebook page posted this.  This is so great I wanted to share it with you in case any of you are feeling this way.  http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html

I LOVE this!  I can SOOO relate.  When I read this I started sobbing.  Not crying...sobbing.  It hit the nail more on the head then I thought it would.  These last few weeks I have felt so overwhelmed.  I've felt like a failure.  I'm not sure if it's the ages of my children or that I have four children or homeschooling that brought all this on.  I felt like I was going through this alone although I was sure other mothers have felt this at some time.  God totally answered my prayer when I read this blog because I wanted...I needed to know for sure I wasn't the only one who felt like this.  I'm not going off my rocker. 

I like to encourage others and try to have a positive note on my conversations and my facebook status but don't think for a moment that doesn't mean that I don't need a pep talk or encouraging words. 

My house is noisy, very noisy and my dishes pile up.  My laundry is often behind.  I think it's funny when my mom or another empty nester tells me today is their laundry day.  I can't image a world like that.  Every day is laundry day at my house.  I have a hard time getting things folded.  If I need a towel or washcloth I try to find one out of the clean basket because I figure that's one less thing I need to fold. 

Parenting is hard.  With three of my kids so close in age I feel like I just get out of one stage and I'm back in it again with the next child.  Parenting is hard....but I love it.  I love being a mom and I love my kiddos so so SO much.  It is challenging having four but I can't imagine life without a single one.  But I do get overwhelmed from time to time.  I end up crying hard every couple of months and those times can be hard. 

I'm not saying this for a pity party or for you to feel sorry for me.  I want to be honest with you and give you a glimpse at the reality of my life.  For some reason I think some might be surprised at these things.  Really we moms and women have a lot more in common then we might think we do.  I hope to encourage someone else who may be going through this moment in their life.  You're not the only one!  I can understand.  I can relate.  I was talking to a friend yesterday and discovered she had been feeling this way for awhile too.  I had no idea she was going through this now.

The only thing I'd like to add to the link I posted was you can do it with Christ's help.  On my own I don't think I could do mothering and homeschooling, housekeeping and being a wife.  Only with the God's help can I do any of this. 

Please feel free to leave a comment if you've been feeling this way too.  It's good to know we aren't alone.

Night's landscape

Last week my husband and I were able to get a sitter for the kids and we enjoyed the evening together at his cousin's wedding. The wedding and reception were at a ballroom in the middle of the country, between cornfields. Not a place I would have looked to find a ballroom but it was beautiful . When we were driving home I was noticing how different the landscape appeared against the night sky. I know in my mind that everything is as it was in the day yet it looked so different. The few buildings that had lights along the gravel paths of the country roads really shone brightly. I noticed so much more detail on and around those building then I did during the daylight. Actually I barely even noticed those buildings were there during the day.

They say a persons character really shines through, whether good or bad, when they are faced with difficult circumstances or stressful situations. What is on the inside, at the heart of the person, will come out in those moments. During a normal day, in the stability of our western culture, these characteristics don't normally shine through and the beautiful details of a person can go unnoticed like a building on a country road in plain daylight. Put it against the backdrop of darkness however and the details and character of a persons heart will shine. Just like the stars at night. We don't see their beauty during the day because the sun is to bright and blocks them, but at night they shine gloriously. The darker the night, the fuller their beauty.

For all those who are storing up the treasure of God's Word in your heart and allowing God to mold you into what He wants you to be, know that there is a time coming that God has purposed for you to shine like stars in our darkened world. It may be that the people we run into during the week are going through a difficult time and we are the one to shine the light of Jesus at just the right time to help them through the next hour of their night. You never know what someone may be going through. You never know when you may be the one with a hardpressing situation that draws out what is in you. We can be ready for those moments by diving in the Word of God EVERY day and allowing Him to shape us as we surrender to Him. If you feel like those buildings that in the light of day were barely noticed, remember God knows you're there. Continue to shine brightly for Him. When darkness comes you will be a beautiful place of refuge. A fortress of rest.

My voice

 Thursday evening I went outside and enjoyed the nice weather with my family.  The kids played on the swingset and I played basketball with my husband and oldest daughter.  As soon as we went inside I felt congestion behind my eyes.  My eyes started to water and I began to sneeze.  Allergies had kicked in.  Usually I can shake them within a day, so I took a shower to wash off the pollens and drank a lot of water.  I didn't shake it as fast this time and I ended up with a sore throat that caused me to use my voice less.  It made me think about what I'm using my voice for.  What am I saying and what message am I sending out?  Am I using my voice wisely?  Personally I want to be sure I'm using my voice to reflect Christ.  To be encouraging, loving, helpful or teaching anyone God sends my way but especially my family and my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

It's certainly helped me to listen more and talk less.  Some of you know me as a quiet person but at home I can talk a lot.  Just ask my husbandJ  My favorite subject is things the Lord has been showing me and what I've been learning in the bible, some of which ends up in my blog.  Oh and homeschooling and kids, I can talk awhile on those things too.  I've found myself choosing my words more carefully because I don't want to hurt my throat more.  Is what I think I should say worth my throat hurting?  I've discovered negative things I can leave out but also I've realized many things I should say to people but don't.  Even when my throat is fine.  Take for example greeting time at church.  In my church we have a time of greeting and you go around saying hi, shaking hands and hugging necks.  Today I found myself thinking how dear some of these people are to me then realized I don't know if I have ever told them so.  I'm not sure if I've ever told them they're important or the beauty I see in them.  I really need to do that more.  I'm not a big small talker.  I like to get to the meat of a subject but sometimes the smallest phrase can encourage someone and show them God's love.   

Though I don't enjoy having a sore throat or losing my voice it always makes me reevaluate what I'm saying and why.  That's a good reminder for all of us.  Also, when I get better, I always have this renewed boldness with a sense of purpose and meaning. 

Sing to the LORD, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.      Psalm 96:2   

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"  Isaiah 52:7

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.  Ephesians 5:19 

A picture of love

I've been diving into learning about love.  It is a characteristic that I should have pouring out of me as a follower of Christ.  It is of great importance that we are living a life of love.  Love is huge to God, God IS love.  So I'm diving into this and I'm reading I John because he talks about it alot.  One of my big questions is what does love look like?  Perfect love, divine love what does it look like in every day life?  I have my ideas but I want God's picture on the matter. 

The other day I was feeling crabby and I was desperately needing some time away from the kids for awhile.  Sometimes moms just get to that point but at this particular moment I couldn't really get away so I tried to work with it and I told my 3 and 5 year old they needed to go play in the girl's room and leave me alone for awhile.  My 3yr old got the message and started to go to her room.  My 5yr old started to pout and didn't want to leave.  I said son you need to leave me alone for awhile.  I was crabby and a bit short with him but he slowly left.  I continued my filing and as I walked through the schoolroom I could hear my son say to his sister, "Shhh, I'm making a surprise for mom."  My heart started to soften.  A few minutes later my son said, "Mom, do you want to find a surprise I made for you.  I hide it in the school room, …in the crayons…"  He led me to the crayons and opened the container.  "See, I buried them under the crayons."  He took out a folded piece of paper which had another folded piece of paper in it.  Then he showed me the picture he made for me and started to tell me about it.  "Do you want me to read it to you?"  "Sure" I said.  "It says I love you.  Do you like it?"  How wonderful for this little boy, that I was just short with, to make me a picture.  That was his response to me even after I was short with him.  He quickly forgave my shortcomings and showed me love, which softened and touched my heart.  Now that was a picture of love.

Benefit of the rain

One morning there was a gray, cloud filled sky. You could see the wind rushing through the trees and hear an occasional clap of thunder. It looked like it could be a little scary. From the perspective of my 5-year-old son it was scary enough to get his trusted stuffed hippo to hold on to. I didn't like my son being scared but I looked outside and saw puddles in our wet driveway that were rippling from the rain. My heart was filled with joy. There's been a drought in our area of the country all summer. When you add in the nonstop triple digit temps the fields were not looking good. There's been growing concern about grocery prices and the many other ways this would effect us all in the near and distant future. Seeing the rain fall was like drops of hope in my heart. Yet I looked next to me and there was my little boy, his heart filled with concern and fear because of the possible storm that was brewing. I realized the benefit of the rain far outweighed my son's fear of the storm.

This reminds me of us Christians when we see a storm or a possible storm brewing. Quite honestly I'm going through this right now. I see a couple of storms or possible storms brewing on my horizon now. I'm looking at the Lord saying, “I really don't want to do this. Can you just make it go away?” I know He can but is that what's best for me. Maybe I need what's in that storm. It never sounds pleasant to go through a challenging circumstance but there could be benefit in it. One benefit I can see is learning to cling to the One who deserves our full trust, God. Instead I find myself fearing and stewing. That's a big flag to me to refocus back on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my soul.

Is my Heavenly Father right next to me? You bet He is. Is He going to protect me? Yes, just like I would protect my son if a true threat of harm came. But the storm that morning was not a true threat of danger. It only sounded scary. So I comforted him best I could, just as I have felt the Lord comforting me through the verses I've been reading in my quiet time lately. Divine timing on those verses! Yet, I need to come to that place that whether this is a true storm or just sounds scary I can trust God completely and have no fear in me. I'm not at that point yet, but I hope to be soon. Then I'll be able to do as my son did when he no longer heard the thunder. He sat his hippo on the couch and announced he wasn't afraid anymore.

So if you're in a similar situation remember that maybe the benefit of what you'll receive in this storm may far outweigh the fear or long suffering your having to deal with.

Oh, and if you think about it, I would appreciate your prayers.

Why does Luke get a cookie mom?

The other day I was in my kitchen with my one and a half year old son on my hip.  It was dinner time so I was looking in the cupboard to gather the things I needed for dinner.  My son saw the last chocolate chip cookie we had in the cupboard and pointed to it.  He just got up from his nap and didn't have a snack so I gave it to him.  A couple minutes later my five year son came in and saw his brother with a cookie.  He had asked me for a snack not long before that but he's always asking for food.  (It's true boys eat a lot.)  My 5 year old said, "Why does Luke get a cookie mom?" 

His question frustrated me.  In my mind I thought "Does it matter?"  Then I thought, I wonder if God feels like that with us.  Sometimes we see someone with a talent or gift that God gave them that we wish we had.  Or maybe success in an area we've been trying so hard to get success in.  When we see our brother or sister with those God given things we ask the question my 5 year old son asked.  God, why did you give them such a beautiful voice?  Why haven't I been given the opportunity to minister like her?  And on and on we could go.  I know I've been guilty of this. 

As a parent I know the flood of thoughts that came through my head.  Does it really matter that Luke got a cookie and you didn't?  I feed you and give you things you want sometimes just because I love you.  But in that moment, that moment of selfishness, those things aren't remembered.  Only the injustice we feel has been done to us in this moment, is remembered.

Another thought that went through my head was, "Even if I told you would you really understand?"  In my son's 5 year old mind he doesn't have the capacity to understand the full picture of things.  We are the same in the Lord's eyes.  WE are the child.  HE  is the Father.  There's no way our minds can understand the fullness of the reasons why He does the things He does when He does them.  And quite honestly, He doesn't owe us an explanation.  But He does deserve our trust.

Or maybe we're feeling, as sometimes our children do, that our Father loves one of the other children more then us.  Even if we know in our minds that's not true, sometimes it may feel that way.  Our minds think we see the proof that "they" are loved more.  After all look at what they got and I didn't.  Yet we forget all the times He has given us something or showed us His love.

Next time you're tempted to wonder why God didn't give you something, know that He hasn't forgotten you and that He loves you more deeply then you could possibly think or imagine.  In the meantime rejoice with those who are rejoicing.  Be happy with your brother or sister in Christ.  God will bring the things to you in the right time.  In His time.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9   

Two sets of armor

Yesterday the Lord gave me a picture of a warrior in God's army on the battlefield fully dressed in the armor of God. Except they had two sets of gear for battle. One larger then the other. The larger of the two sets was the Lord's armor and was gleaming silver. The smaller set was a reddish rust color and not a complete set. At times the warrior would fumble between the two gears. He/she would always have to put down God's shield of faith when trying to trade pieces. Also the warrior was not standing in ready battle position but was looking around at the gear on the ground and bent down to trade off. It was very ungraceful and uncoordinated. Although the Sword from God's armor the warrior kept.

These are two sets of battle gear many of us Christians have. The silver one we know about because it's God's armor talked about in the bible. The second set is the gear we use when we go in battle against our fellow warriors, our brothers and sisters in Christ. It is a smaller set because it is a weaker set but still has the power to hurt and do damage. It's incomplete and doesn't hold God's power. We always have to put down our shield of faith when fighting against each other and don't have God's protection. We keep the Sword, the Word of Truth in our hands but we use it against each other and strike each other with it. This causes damaging blows in the family of God.

The armor of God gleams and shines His light. It's crisp and clean. The reddish set it tainted and stained with the blood of past kills. The blood is rotting away the armor.

When we are picking up the other equipment or are trying to decide which piece to use, our eyes are off God. They're not focused on the battle or the task at hand and we are very clumsy, uncoordinated and weak. We are not protected from the advancing enemy's attacks and we do not posses grace. Which is exactly what we need to be extending to our fellow brethren. Grace. God's grace.

This should not be. We should not be fighting and attacking God's people – our own people. We must stop backbiting, gossiping and vengeful bickering. We need to straighten up, look back to the eyes of the one who gave us grace and extend that gift to our brothers and sisters. We don't have time to waste figuring our which piece of armor to use against each other. The enemy is advancing with great force and we are in battle! We are in war!

Our King is returning soon and it pains Him to see we have each other's blood on our weapon. Especially the Sword. The Word of Truth meant to give life. Let's turn our hearts back to our King so we may shine His glory.

This morning in my quiet time I was writing all of this down and the Lord began to speak to me more about it. He said, "My Spirit can not fight against itself. My Spirit is grieved. You are fighting me." All of us who are God's children have the Spirit of God in us. We are to be Christ with skin on. We may have different skins and different personalities but we have the same Spirit. He continued, "Don't you sense the pain this is causing? The divisions?"

"If you are injured by them (others in God's army) come to the Healer. Don't attack back. Using the same tactics will only cause more pain and more division.

I want you to be radiant for Me. Seasoned with grace. Not tripping over armor. Clear the battle floor!" (Throw out that second set of armor.)

"Time is short. What is the King to find upon His return? …

A bride in blood? Not the blood of her own but of her fellow man. How beautiful is that?

It pains me.

That's really my blood on my bride."

My heart was greatly grieved. I know held on to anger in my heart towards my brother or sisters in Christ and I know I've talked about others before but never quite saw it in this light. I said, "I'm sorry Lord! Help me to speak words that are true…"

The Lord quickly interjected, "It must go deeper then that! DEEP inside you. Deeper then where words have their point of origin! The heart. The soul. The spirit.

Forget your evil thoughts. Flee from damaging deeds. Let me create a clean heart. One made of flesh, not of stone. Turn your cold hearts from hate. Love each other with an everlasting love. Let peace and healing flow through the camp. Restore – Let restoration come.

Bind up your wounds and fight the good fight of faith.

God is strong. His mercies are new every morning. From everlasting to everlasting.

Prepare your heart for the Lord. The battle is on. The war is strong. Prepare your heart for the Lord!"

“If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” Galatians 5:15

Faith Statement

Saying you're a Christian today is vague. That means so many different things to different people. I believe there are core christian beliefs. The beliefs that to say you are a christian anywhere in this world you must believe.

Past that there are many different things one Christian believes and the other does not. That is why there are so many different denominations. Personally, I hate these denominational walls. I'm so looking forward to when we're in heaven and there are no more walls. All in heaven will know what absolute truth is. Most of these differences are not so big that it will determine if you will or will not have eternal life. The beliefs that do bring eternal life are the core Christian beliefs. They are very much worth standing up for. So I would like to break it down and say what it is that I believe. The core beliefs.

This is what I believe:

I believe that Jesus Christ is God's son and born of the virgin Mary.

Luke 1:6-7, 31-32, 34-35

That He was fully God and fully man. Colossians 2:9

I believe that Jesus lived a sinless life. II Corinthians 5:21

I believe Jesus died on a cross and that His bloodshed paid for the sins of all mankind. I Corinthians 15:3, Hebrews 9:28

I believe that after being dead for three days He rose from the dead.

I Corinthians 15:4, Luke 24:1-8

Through Him and His work on the cross we are saved from our sins and made right with God. Romans 4:24-25, Hebrews 10:10

I believe that Jesus is the ONLY way to forgiveness of sins and being made right with God. John 14:6 This is the Gospel. The Good News of Jesus Christ.

I believe it is the duty of every believer to spread the gospel.

Matthew 28:18-20

I believe the bible was inspired by the Holy Spirit and is true and without error. II Timothy 3:16

I believe that God is three persons in one; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19

These are the core Christian beliefs. Beyond that I think you get into denominational differences. It's always wise to be a good Berean. I don't mean the Berean denomination. (Although they will always hold a special place in my heart because my husband and I got married in a Berean church) I'm talking about the Berean's in Acts 17:11 who examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul was saying was true. We also need to examine the Scriptures every day so we will be able to tell what is true. It is good to check everyone who speaks or writes about God and what to believe in. It doesn't matter if it's a relative, or pastor, or friend. Matching everything up to Scripture is what we should be doing. Consider the context of the Scripture. The devil is very good at twisting Scripture. That is why we should study Scripture to always know what the truth is.

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.

II Timothy 2:15

Weeds

I'm so excited to have a yard with flower gardens now that we have our own home. I haven't done much gardening before but I'm willing to learn. In the spring I planted a few plants in the yard but didn't do very much with it. Now it's midsummer and I haven't had much time to tend to the flower garden. When I do have time it's been to hot and humid to do anything outside. So I've discovered I am very good at growing weeds. Lots of them!! My flower garden has been overtaken by them so much that I can't see the few plants I did plant. My sweet daughter wanted to surprise me and her and her friend pulled weeds in half of my flower garden for me. So now half of my garden has short weeds and the other half has tall weeds. Almost as tall as me.

I decided I'm going to tackle these weeds and went out in the morning before it got hot. I was focused on the tall weeds because it's such an eye soar for me. When I looked at them it seemed overwhelming. I couldn't even see the boundary of the flower bed. Where would I start? Finally I started grabbing whatever was in front of me and started pulling. Even if I didn't get the roots at least I could get it short enough to see where the weeds were growing out of the ground. To my amazement, some of the weeds came out easily. I began to see why. The excessive heat and lack of rain caused the plants to start to turn brown close to the ground. With the stubborn weeds I got a shovel and broke their roots under them, then pulled them out.

As I was working it made me think about the Christian walk. When we start on our journey to become set apart for the Lord it can look overwhelming or even scary. We may give some or parts of ourselves to the Lord, like having a half tended flower garden, but when He asks us for the rest we just don't want to go there. Who knows what's lurking in those tall weeds.

Other things we hold onto to tight. We don't want to give them up, just like those stubborn weeds. We think we'll be losing out by giving up whatever God is asking us to give up. Really those weeds are hurting us, not helping. In order to blossom and be fruitful for the Lord we must let the weeds of self die. He may dig to break the root but He'll get it out of there… if we let Him.

Have you ever felt like you dealt with an issue only to find yourself dealing with it again months or years down the road? Perhaps that is like when I started to pull the weeds. Even if I didn't get to the root, cutting it down was a step in the right direction but you must come back and deal with it on a more thorough level to get the roots. Without getting the roots you'll just be growing those weeds back. God wants us to get to an even ground that can be tilled and made fertile so the right things can be planted and grow to be beautiful, fragrant flowers. It's not always easy to die to what we want and do what God wants but it is necessary. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. John 12:25-26 We must die to ourselves and follow Jesus.