My Rose bushes

As of this summer my family and I have lived in our home for a year. We enjoy having our own home. We love the space and we love that we have a yard. I've been enjoying getting outside and learning how to garden flowers. There are two rose bushes on the side of the house that were flowering when we moved in last summer. I knew they hadn't been tended to in at least two or more years so I figured they must be a pretty hearty breed of roses. That gave me a little more confidence that I probably wouldn't kill them if I started learning how to garden on them. I read up on roses and watched some gardening shows but I'm still not sure I'm tending to them correctly. If anyone knows how to manage these hearty but beautiful flowers I'd love some tips.

Another thing growing when we moved in was a vine that was up the side of the house and covered one whole corner. There's no flowers, just a vine that grew out of neglect to the home. When we moved in we tore the vine off the house and thought we killed the root. However I'm noticing there's a vine weaving around my rose bush. I tried to pull out the root to the vine and carefully untangle the two plants but if I don't watch it, it's not long before there's another vine trying to wrap around my roses again.

It made me think of how fear can creep into my life. If I'm not watching for it, fear will ever so slyly weave all around and try to choke off the beauty of God's grace shining through me. Fear comes in so many forms that, like that vine, it can be there and we don't even realize it. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of man, fear of not having enough money or food, fear of illness, injury and sometimes even death. For ourselves or of a loved one. There are SO many fears out there. Just think of all those phobias you hear about. Some of them are of pretty strange things. The bible shows us the only fear we should have is the fear or reverence and awe of God. To fear God is wise.

The fear of the LORD is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey His commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise him forever!

Psalm 111:10

Any other fear is NOT from God.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. II Timothy 1:7

For you have not received a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry,”Abba, Father”

Romans 8:15

I often use biblos.com as an online resource to help me look things up in the bible. When I type in “fear not” I get 446 verses that say fear not. That doesn't even include the don't be afraid's and other ways the Lord tells us not to fear. Fear is NOT of God.

I was thinking the other day of the very famous 23^rd Psalm. Verse 4 keep running through my head, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” I will fear no evil...NO EVIL. Wow! Really, when you think about it, that's strong trust in God. There is so much evil going on in the world. Turn on the news and you'll see that it's true. Local or national, it doesn't matter. It's everywhere and the closer you walk with God the more you recognize it. The only way we will fear no evil is to trust God in all things. Trust He's knows what He's doing. Trust that He is in control. Trust that He will fulfill the promise that says all things work together for good for those who love God. (Romans 8:28)

As for fear, let it have no power over you. We know that fear does not come from God. It comes from the devil and the world and we know Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33) therefore, if you have been redeemed through the blood of Jesus fear has NO power over you. Cut down that vine at the root. Pull it out and don't let fear steal the beauty God has put in you. Instead be a beautiful fragrance to the Lord as you diligently tend the garden of your heart.

Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:2

Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually. I Chronicles 16:11

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble . But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

Let's get Cookin'

Those of you who know me know I've never been big on cooking. I didn't know how to cook and it really kind of freaked me out. I cooked meals from boxes and was really good at throwing a frozen pizza in the oven. When I would rarely get brave enough to try and cook, I usually ruined it and would not try again for months. This did not give my family and I much variety in our diet and quiet frankly was not healthy for us. I've had stomach problems since I was a kid and it was just hurting more and more. I prayed for my stomach problems to go away. I knew I needed to get to the root of the problem and eat healthy. Believe it or not I also prayed I would learn how to cook. As a wife and a mother I felt so insufficient. I felt stupid and hated I didn't know how to cook.

Finally, this summer I had enough. The final straw is I was tired of my stomach constantly hurting and my children started having the same stomach issues. I KNEW I needed to get us all eating healthy so…I just started. With the help of a wonderful friend who gave me a great cookbook I opened it up and started picking out recipes. It used to intimidate me to go to the store and try and figure out where all the ingredients were. It was so foreign to me but I started doing it and it felt GREAT. My family are now eating fresh vegetables and meat. My husband joked the first few weeks when we would go to the grocery store because of all the fresh veggies in our cart. "What's that doing in there? Is this our cart?" I've gotten such a collection of spices I need a spice rack or a better way of organizing them. I've also noticed eating healthy has less packaging which makes less trash. As for the ultimate goal…my stomach is hurting less. Much less! It only hurts again if I eat to much processed foods. (I do love those sweets!) My husband is loving this change too. After being married seven years he finally has a wife that cooks real food. Now I can pass down to my children how to cook. This may sound silly and like a small thing but it was a huge obstacle for me to overcome. I'm so glad no prayer or problem is to small or silly for God.

Confession - Temptation part 4

In May I wrote a three day series on temptation.  I was dealing with a pretty strong temptation and the Lord was faithful to show me how to deal with it as I dug into the truths of His Word.  In that series I shared what I learned as I studied on temptation.  The last thing I mentioned was to confess your struggle to a friend.  Someone you know loves you and will be honest with you.  You should pray about who this should be.  I did this and the Lord dropped a name in my heart of who I should talk to.  I came up with reasons I shouldn't talk to this person but in the end I knew God was right.  This person has been trained in the specific area I was dealing with and really was the perfect person for me to talk to.  Yet, I so bad did not want to do this.  I was afraid of what she would think.  I was terribly nervous and had what I thought were great excuses to not go.  I kept praying and double checking with the Lord that this is what I really should do.  I would gladly back out if this was not God's plan.  After the third time of telling the Lord I would back out He again reminded me of what His word says about confessing:  Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  James 5:16

Submit yourselves to God.  Resist the devil and He will flee from you.

 James 4:7

Then He said not to ask Him to back out again.  I know what the Word says and if I didn't do it, it would be because I was being disobedient.  Not because He let me out of it.  I don't remember the exact wording but that was the idea and it was enough for me to shut my mouth and carry through. 

I remember stepping out of my van in front of my friend's house the day I met with her.  I said, Alright Lord, here I am.  Being obedient to you.  No matter what happens, I'm being obedient to you. 

I have to tell you, I'm glad I was.  We had small talk then got down to the heart of the matter.  By the time I left, I felt a peace because I did the right thing.  I obeyed the Lord.  And now I'm glad because every time the temptation tries to distract me, I know I have someone I will be accountable to.  I know I'm accountable to God and I know I'm accountable to my husband (who also knows what I've been dealing with) but to have that extra friend who I know knows this vulnerability about me is actually good.  I can send her a quick note asking her to pray and I know I'm not on this battlefield alone.  Just like when Moses held his hands up while Joshua was fighting the Amalekites.  Aaron and Hur came alongside Moses and held his hands steady til the battle was won. (Exodus 17:8-16)  Our friends and accountability people can come alongside us and keep our hands held high to the Lord while the battle is being fought.  We need to have this connection with each other because we need each other.  God never intended for us to fight our battles alone.  True, we are not alone because God is always with us but often times He helps us using another brother or sister in Christ.  There is NO ONE who never needs help from anyone else.  We need to sacrifice our pride and confess to each other.  Be honest with each other.  Don't be afraid to say I'm struggling here.  Forget those lies Satan is telling you that this will be damaging to your reputation because after all you are supposed to be a Christian.  Or the fear of being rejected or laughed at or gossiped about.  If you've prayed about who to talk to and God gives you a name you go to that person.  Their response is between them and God.  You're responsible for being obedient to what He told you to do.  Chances are good God won't send you to someone who will respond negatively.  God is for you.  God is for you being set apart for Him and walking purely in His sight.  He loves you and won't steer you wrong.      

My mothering reality

     A mom on my MOPS facebook page posted this.  This is so great I wanted to share it with you in case any of you are feeling this way.  http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html

I LOVE this!  I can SOOO relate.  When I read this I started sobbing.  Not crying...sobbing.  It hit the nail more on the head then I thought it would.  These last few weeks I have felt so overwhelmed.  I've felt like a failure.  I'm not sure if it's the ages of my children or that I have four children or homeschooling that brought all this on.  I felt like I was going through this alone although I was sure other mothers have felt this at some time.  God totally answered my prayer when I read this blog because I wanted...I needed to know for sure I wasn't the only one who felt like this.  I'm not going off my rocker. 

I like to encourage others and try to have a positive note on my conversations and my facebook status but don't think for a moment that doesn't mean that I don't need a pep talk or encouraging words. 

My house is noisy, very noisy and my dishes pile up.  My laundry is often behind.  I think it's funny when my mom or another empty nester tells me today is their laundry day.  I can't image a world like that.  Every day is laundry day at my house.  I have a hard time getting things folded.  If I need a towel or washcloth I try to find one out of the clean basket because I figure that's one less thing I need to fold. 

Parenting is hard.  With three of my kids so close in age I feel like I just get out of one stage and I'm back in it again with the next child.  Parenting is hard....but I love it.  I love being a mom and I love my kiddos so so SO much.  It is challenging having four but I can't imagine life without a single one.  But I do get overwhelmed from time to time.  I end up crying hard every couple of months and those times can be hard. 

I'm not saying this for a pity party or for you to feel sorry for me.  I want to be honest with you and give you a glimpse at the reality of my life.  For some reason I think some might be surprised at these things.  Really we moms and women have a lot more in common then we might think we do.  I hope to encourage someone else who may be going through this moment in their life.  You're not the only one!  I can understand.  I can relate.  I was talking to a friend yesterday and discovered she had been feeling this way for awhile too.  I had no idea she was going through this now.

The only thing I'd like to add to the link I posted was you can do it with Christ's help.  On my own I don't think I could do mothering and homeschooling, housekeeping and being a wife.  Only with the God's help can I do any of this. 

Please feel free to leave a comment if you've been feeling this way too.  It's good to know we aren't alone.

Night's landscape

Last week my husband and I were able to get a sitter for the kids and we enjoyed the evening together at his cousin's wedding. The wedding and reception were at a ballroom in the middle of the country, between cornfields. Not a place I would have looked to find a ballroom but it was beautiful . When we were driving home I was noticing how different the landscape appeared against the night sky. I know in my mind that everything is as it was in the day yet it looked so different. The few buildings that had lights along the gravel paths of the country roads really shone brightly. I noticed so much more detail on and around those building then I did during the daylight. Actually I barely even noticed those buildings were there during the day.

They say a persons character really shines through, whether good or bad, when they are faced with difficult circumstances or stressful situations. What is on the inside, at the heart of the person, will come out in those moments. During a normal day, in the stability of our western culture, these characteristics don't normally shine through and the beautiful details of a person can go unnoticed like a building on a country road in plain daylight. Put it against the backdrop of darkness however and the details and character of a persons heart will shine. Just like the stars at night. We don't see their beauty during the day because the sun is to bright and blocks them, but at night they shine gloriously. The darker the night, the fuller their beauty.

For all those who are storing up the treasure of God's Word in your heart and allowing God to mold you into what He wants you to be, know that there is a time coming that God has purposed for you to shine like stars in our darkened world. It may be that the people we run into during the week are going through a difficult time and we are the one to shine the light of Jesus at just the right time to help them through the next hour of their night. You never know what someone may be going through. You never know when you may be the one with a hardpressing situation that draws out what is in you. We can be ready for those moments by diving in the Word of God EVERY day and allowing Him to shape us as we surrender to Him. If you feel like those buildings that in the light of day were barely noticed, remember God knows you're there. Continue to shine brightly for Him. When darkness comes you will be a beautiful place of refuge. A fortress of rest.

My voice

 Thursday evening I went outside and enjoyed the nice weather with my family.  The kids played on the swingset and I played basketball with my husband and oldest daughter.  As soon as we went inside I felt congestion behind my eyes.  My eyes started to water and I began to sneeze.  Allergies had kicked in.  Usually I can shake them within a day, so I took a shower to wash off the pollens and drank a lot of water.  I didn't shake it as fast this time and I ended up with a sore throat that caused me to use my voice less.  It made me think about what I'm using my voice for.  What am I saying and what message am I sending out?  Am I using my voice wisely?  Personally I want to be sure I'm using my voice to reflect Christ.  To be encouraging, loving, helpful or teaching anyone God sends my way but especially my family and my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

It's certainly helped me to listen more and talk less.  Some of you know me as a quiet person but at home I can talk a lot.  Just ask my husbandJ  My favorite subject is things the Lord has been showing me and what I've been learning in the bible, some of which ends up in my blog.  Oh and homeschooling and kids, I can talk awhile on those things too.  I've found myself choosing my words more carefully because I don't want to hurt my throat more.  Is what I think I should say worth my throat hurting?  I've discovered negative things I can leave out but also I've realized many things I should say to people but don't.  Even when my throat is fine.  Take for example greeting time at church.  In my church we have a time of greeting and you go around saying hi, shaking hands and hugging necks.  Today I found myself thinking how dear some of these people are to me then realized I don't know if I have ever told them so.  I'm not sure if I've ever told them they're important or the beauty I see in them.  I really need to do that more.  I'm not a big small talker.  I like to get to the meat of a subject but sometimes the smallest phrase can encourage someone and show them God's love.   

Though I don't enjoy having a sore throat or losing my voice it always makes me reevaluate what I'm saying and why.  That's a good reminder for all of us.  Also, when I get better, I always have this renewed boldness with a sense of purpose and meaning. 

Sing to the LORD, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.      Psalm 96:2   

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"  Isaiah 52:7

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.  Ephesians 5:19 

A picture of love

I've been diving into learning about love.  It is a characteristic that I should have pouring out of me as a follower of Christ.  It is of great importance that we are living a life of love.  Love is huge to God, God IS love.  So I'm diving into this and I'm reading I John because he talks about it alot.  One of my big questions is what does love look like?  Perfect love, divine love what does it look like in every day life?  I have my ideas but I want God's picture on the matter. 

The other day I was feeling crabby and I was desperately needing some time away from the kids for awhile.  Sometimes moms just get to that point but at this particular moment I couldn't really get away so I tried to work with it and I told my 3 and 5 year old they needed to go play in the girl's room and leave me alone for awhile.  My 3yr old got the message and started to go to her room.  My 5yr old started to pout and didn't want to leave.  I said son you need to leave me alone for awhile.  I was crabby and a bit short with him but he slowly left.  I continued my filing and as I walked through the schoolroom I could hear my son say to his sister, "Shhh, I'm making a surprise for mom."  My heart started to soften.  A few minutes later my son said, "Mom, do you want to find a surprise I made for you.  I hide it in the school room, …in the crayons…"  He led me to the crayons and opened the container.  "See, I buried them under the crayons."  He took out a folded piece of paper which had another folded piece of paper in it.  Then he showed me the picture he made for me and started to tell me about it.  "Do you want me to read it to you?"  "Sure" I said.  "It says I love you.  Do you like it?"  How wonderful for this little boy, that I was just short with, to make me a picture.  That was his response to me even after I was short with him.  He quickly forgave my shortcomings and showed me love, which softened and touched my heart.  Now that was a picture of love.