Fall Schedule

 

My son is a first grader and learning about seasons in science.  He was learning how the animals are very busy during the fall to prepare for winter.  It reminded me of how many of us are busy in the fall with our new fall schedules.  There are opportunities to do so many things, but each thing is a commitment of time and all of us have only so many slots of time available to us.

My kids have chores they are expected to do every day.  When they complete their chores they are given rewards.  One of those rewards is a ticket.  I have prizes in boxes.  There is a one ticket prize box, a two ticket prize box, a three ticket prize box and other special rewards they can get with four tickets.  My son was learning the other day to make wise decisions.  Spend now or save and get what he really wanted later.  He was learning but didn't like the lesson.  After much pouting and resisting on his part, he finally learned to be wise with his choices.  He choose to save and do another chore so he could get the prize he really wanted.  That was a proud mama moment for me :)

Just like my son learning to be wise how he spent his tickets I'm learning (once again) to be wise with the slots of time I have.  I have to stick with what's valuable to me.  Which is time with my kids to homeschool, time with my family to play, time with my husband, time for God and time for myself to unwind and/or be with friends.  There's only so much I can do each day.  What will I choose?

Even what I think is good for me isn't always the best call.  I continuously pray for the Lord's guidance as I make these choices.  He is faithful as He closes doors that I desperately wanted open.  Just a few days ago the door was closed on three different things.  I really wanted to do two of them.  I pouted and was crabby but all the while knew God knows what's best for my family and I.  I must continue to trust that He knows what He's doing and He's in control. 

I don't take my decisions lightly and I must stick to what I value or my life will easily get off balance.  I'm so glad God's goodness is there to cover me and guide me as I listen to Him.

Here & Now

My husband and I celebrated our anniversary by watching our wedding video with our two oldest kids.  It's amazing to see how time truly does go so fast.  My daughter was the flower girl.  She seemed so little then.  Now she's almost as tall as I am. 

It really doesn't seem that long ago yet it's been a lifetime ago.  Since then we've added three beautiful children.  They put so much joy in our lives.  

I know people say your wedding day is one of the best days of your life.  As my husband and I watched the video we were recalling how stressful of a day it was.  You can tell in some of the pictures that we weren't very relaxed. 

That moment was beautiful in that it was a turning point as we became husband and wife.  Our lives were changed as we joined our hearts in a commitment before the Lord. 

Changed for the better.  I have to say I enjoy life so much better now then I did then.  Even my husband and I's relationship is more solid.  More stable. 


In Loving Memory

I was surprised that I counted about eight people that came to our wedding who have passed away since.  I also realized I haven't seen most of the people I used to work with since my wedding day.  However, I have met so many wonderful people since that day.  They don't replace those I no longer see but certainly add to my life here & now. 

I don't want to be a person who lives in the past.  Instead I want to cherish all I have now and look to the future with great expectation and wonder as to which way God is leading us.  His ways often seems strange to me.  He is always good.  A giver of life.  My healer.  Celebrating our special day simply reminded me to cherish today.  To live and love the here & now. 

Room for a King

One of the things I like about owning our home is decorating and painting. Putting some of myself into the house. I decided before we moved in to dedicate the dining room to Jesus. A room fit for a King. (I know it may sound corny but stick with me. My love for Jesus makes me sound corny from time to time.)

It's been a few years now and we haven't had the money or time to makeover the dining room. I was sitting at the dining room table and telling the Lord I'm sorry I haven't hardly touched the room. About that time I glanced up at the TV in the living room and there was a travel show on showing the beautiful cathedrals full of golden chairs, the best fabrics and breath-taking art and stained glass. Every detail was grand.


At that moment it struck me that people go to great lengths to dedicate buildings, rooms, homes, pieces of art, etc. to God, yet what He really wants is our heart. The dedication of our heart, our life, our ALL is worth more to the Lord then all the jewels in the world. It's a relationship with us Jesus is interested in. I still plan to go ahead with my plans for the room fit for a King. What Jesus really wants to know is, do you have room in your heart for me?

When is quiet time?

For years now I have struggled with when to do my quiet time with the Lord. I am not keen on getting up early in the morning. I remember when I was a single/working mom with a full time job. I had to be at work at 8 but I had to get ready, take my daughter to daycare and commute. I kept thinking there should be a law that noone should get up so early. I eventually learned to enjoy watching the sunrise instead of complaining.

I've tried many times to get up faithfully at a set time in the morning before anyone in my family is up. Still I feel like I'm not at my best. I'm struggling to open my eyes as I'm pulling out the bible. Other times I was so anxious about waking the children I had a hard time focusing. If I didn't get up I would feel guilty. I've tried reading my bible during breakfast or even after breakfast while the kids play. That worked a few years ago but doesn't work as well anymore. Of course I have added a child (or two) since then.

I've heard some people say you should get up first thing in the morning because that's when Jesus got up to spend time alone with His Father. It's a time with less distractions. Also because it's like tithing in that you are giving Him the first portion of your day. Yet I've heard others say it doesn't matter when you spend time with the Lord. Just as long as you're doing it. What He wants is your heart. I can see both sides of it. Certainly if a person feels the Lord wants them to spend their quiet time at a specific time they should do that, but I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to get legalistic about it either.

What do you think? When do you spend your quiet time with the Lord? Have you always done it that way or has it changed as your life has changed?

I think I've decided to shower in the morning (I'm used to showering at night) just before the kids get up and pray. That will also get them out of bed a little earlier to get ready for school. So they can be waking up but still not bother me because my husband is still home and able to help with the kids. I hope it will work. Still not sure when to read my bible...

I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks! 

Family Matters

In dealing with the passing of my grandma this week I learned some things about myself and my extended family. As a child and teen I took for granted that my grandmother would always be there. In my twenties I was just going about my own life. Now I wish I would have visted her more. Asked her more questions. I always said I would but it didn't happen much. By the time I tried to visit her a few years ago I realized she had a some dimentia and it was a little tricky carrying on a conversation with her. I remember I was glad I visited her but was sad to see her like that.

My grandma was a good woman. She complained very little. She never wanted to be a burden to anyone and it always blessed me to see her walk in the door for Christmas or baby showers...whatever the event, she was there. That's one of the parts I'll miss the most about her. She was there...just because she loved me. I never felt any judgement from her. I also loved the way she said my name. Just something about it was pure grandma. I'll miss that.

After the funeral I was concerned if I would see some of my relatives again. She held the family together. I was told a few times to take a good look at the funeral because some I may not see again. That didn't settle well with me. We are not a close family but in the last few years I've begun to appreciate family roots more. I'm wanting to get to know them better not say good-bye.

The night after my grandma had passed I lay awake for several hours in the middle of the night. All I could think about was my aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings and I wondered how many others couldn't sleep. It was neat that even though we aren't close I still felt some strand that connected us all. When we choose friends we usually pick people with the same values and interests. One of the great things about family is it forces you to love others that may not share your values or interest or season of life and love them for a lifetime. A family is brought together by certain common factors. It's up to us to build on those and let those relationships grow or not. God knows people need community. From the moment we're born God provided that for us in our family. He truly is a good God!

In my last post I questioned why some relationships don't stand strong. Try as you might, some relationships just don't stay strong. Circumstances, skeletons in the closet or personality differences get in the way. The only thing I can really do is love on those who will let me love on them. I can't force anyone to be my friend or enjoy being my relative but I will do my best to pour the love of Jesus on all God brings my way.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:18-19, 21   

Confused

“Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreath; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.”

I know a man this year who passed away at age 50. It was so hard for me to believe he was gone it took me going to his funeral to realize this was real. I know of a man who passed away just this week, only 34 years old. He left behind a loving wife and two young children. My heart breaks for this family. 

My grandmother is in her late eighties. There were several times recently we thought we were going to lose her but she's a fighter. She's beaten cancer more then once (three times I think). Yet, she loves the Lord and is ready to go home now. 

Death is a strange thing. Who, but God, knows the number of our days? In the span of time we are just a mist in the wind. You never know who or when... So most come to the conclusion we should be sure to tell our family and friends how much we love them. I agree...but relationships are a strange thing too. 

I just studied about family relationships and am now studying about friends. I'm learning what the bible has to say about it. Some relationships it's easy to say how much you love them, others … are not so easy. Some relationships I've found aren't as deep as you hoped they were or maybe there is no relationship when I thought there was. What do I do about that? I know there's a time to fight for relationships and a time to let go... It's hard to let go. What if I don't want to let go? I'm feeling a loss for those relationships that could have been/could be so much more. Lord, show me if it's time to let go or not...show me what to do because I don't know. 

Good relationships take time to develop. I'm fine with putting in the time but friendship is also a two way street. I have to say I've been dealing with feeling rejection and hurt in seeing the state of these relationships tonight. Trying to figure out how to deal with it. I know everybody is here at some point in their life. Not a fun place to be. 

One thing I do know: Jesus calls me His friend. Jesus has included me in His family. I am worth it to Him. His love never fails. Only in Him do I find peace. Only in Him can I find answers.

I have to say I do have a friend who has been dear to me this past year. She loves the Lord and has a heart of gold. My dear friend, you are a jewel in the rough world. A breath of fresh air. Thank you for being who God has called you to be and allowing Him to chip away at you and form you into the woman He wants you to be. You are awesome.

I've just got to add this because God is so awesome. So I'm sitting here typing this blog. Pouring my aching heart out and a new song comes on the radio called “You Are Wanted”.  Oh my goodness, what a perfect song for me right now. Thank you God, I so needed to hear that. Like a kiss from heaven. 

Tool or Vice

Facebook is a great tool to stay in contact with people. Especially when they live far away. It's fun to look at pics. I especially love pics of little kids. From time to time though, I decide to stay away from fb to keep myself in check. It's not that I spend a lot of time on there but I'm checking my heart motives. A few days ago I stayed off the computer, not just fb. It's amazing how many times the thought floated through my head to check this or that on the computer. Not that any of that is bad but I had to ask myself if that was the best use of my time at that moment. I found most of the time I was going there out of habit. Often I was trying to fill a need of wanting to connect with someone old enough to drive. I know many stay-at-home moms feel that way.

It made me realize that some things that are great tools can become vices. A tool is something you use to help you get a job done. A vice is something that has a hold on you from getting things done. Almost anything can be a vice. I realized these last few months that food is also a vice for me from time to time. This is a strange problem for me. I've never had to to ask myself if I'm eating because I'm hungry and if so was I making the best food choices. It's amazing how much of a grip food can have on you.

When Jesus was in the desert being tempted, Satan used the Bible against Him. You normally wouldn't think of the bible as a vice but used incorrectly, as Satan tries to do with us, it can be used as something negative. The bible is definitely NOT bad. I love God's word. Nor is food bad. You can't give up food but you can retrain yourself to think of it correctly. Your attitude and heart motive is the difference between something being used to help you or be used against you.

Now when I go on facebook, or even my computer, I ask myself what's my motive. Am I using this as a tool to help me accomplish something or am I just wasting time that could be better spent doing something else. Asking God what His perspective is can help. God is good. He will show you have to have balance.