When is quiet time?

For years now I have struggled with when to do my quiet time with the Lord. I am not keen on getting up early in the morning. I remember when I was a single/working mom with a full time job. I had to be at work at 8 but I had to get ready, take my daughter to daycare and commute. I kept thinking there should be a law that noone should get up so early. I eventually learned to enjoy watching the sunrise instead of complaining.

I've tried many times to get up faithfully at a set time in the morning before anyone in my family is up. Still I feel like I'm not at my best. I'm struggling to open my eyes as I'm pulling out the bible. Other times I was so anxious about waking the children I had a hard time focusing. If I didn't get up I would feel guilty. I've tried reading my bible during breakfast or even after breakfast while the kids play. That worked a few years ago but doesn't work as well anymore. Of course I have added a child (or two) since then.

I've heard some people say you should get up first thing in the morning because that's when Jesus got up to spend time alone with His Father. It's a time with less distractions. Also because it's like tithing in that you are giving Him the first portion of your day. Yet I've heard others say it doesn't matter when you spend time with the Lord. Just as long as you're doing it. What He wants is your heart. I can see both sides of it. Certainly if a person feels the Lord wants them to spend their quiet time at a specific time they should do that, but I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to get legalistic about it either.

What do you think? When do you spend your quiet time with the Lord? Have you always done it that way or has it changed as your life has changed?

I think I've decided to shower in the morning (I'm used to showering at night) just before the kids get up and pray. That will also get them out of bed a little earlier to get ready for school. So they can be waking up but still not bother me because my husband is still home and able to help with the kids. I hope it will work. Still not sure when to read my bible...

I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks! 

Family Matters

In dealing with the passing of my grandma this week I learned some things about myself and my extended family. As a child and teen I took for granted that my grandmother would always be there. In my twenties I was just going about my own life. Now I wish I would have visted her more. Asked her more questions. I always said I would but it didn't happen much. By the time I tried to visit her a few years ago I realized she had a some dimentia and it was a little tricky carrying on a conversation with her. I remember I was glad I visited her but was sad to see her like that.

My grandma was a good woman. She complained very little. She never wanted to be a burden to anyone and it always blessed me to see her walk in the door for Christmas or baby showers...whatever the event, she was there. That's one of the parts I'll miss the most about her. She was there...just because she loved me. I never felt any judgement from her. I also loved the way she said my name. Just something about it was pure grandma. I'll miss that.

After the funeral I was concerned if I would see some of my relatives again. She held the family together. I was told a few times to take a good look at the funeral because some I may not see again. That didn't settle well with me. We are not a close family but in the last few years I've begun to appreciate family roots more. I'm wanting to get to know them better not say good-bye.

The night after my grandma had passed I lay awake for several hours in the middle of the night. All I could think about was my aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings and I wondered how many others couldn't sleep. It was neat that even though we aren't close I still felt some strand that connected us all. When we choose friends we usually pick people with the same values and interests. One of the great things about family is it forces you to love others that may not share your values or interest or season of life and love them for a lifetime. A family is brought together by certain common factors. It's up to us to build on those and let those relationships grow or not. God knows people need community. From the moment we're born God provided that for us in our family. He truly is a good God!

In my last post I questioned why some relationships don't stand strong. Try as you might, some relationships just don't stay strong. Circumstances, skeletons in the closet or personality differences get in the way. The only thing I can really do is love on those who will let me love on them. I can't force anyone to be my friend or enjoy being my relative but I will do my best to pour the love of Jesus on all God brings my way.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:18-19, 21   

Confused

“Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreath; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.”

I know a man this year who passed away at age 50. It was so hard for me to believe he was gone it took me going to his funeral to realize this was real. I know of a man who passed away just this week, only 34 years old. He left behind a loving wife and two young children. My heart breaks for this family. 

My grandmother is in her late eighties. There were several times recently we thought we were going to lose her but she's a fighter. She's beaten cancer more then once (three times I think). Yet, she loves the Lord and is ready to go home now. 

Death is a strange thing. Who, but God, knows the number of our days? In the span of time we are just a mist in the wind. You never know who or when... So most come to the conclusion we should be sure to tell our family and friends how much we love them. I agree...but relationships are a strange thing too. 

I just studied about family relationships and am now studying about friends. I'm learning what the bible has to say about it. Some relationships it's easy to say how much you love them, others … are not so easy. Some relationships I've found aren't as deep as you hoped they were or maybe there is no relationship when I thought there was. What do I do about that? I know there's a time to fight for relationships and a time to let go... It's hard to let go. What if I don't want to let go? I'm feeling a loss for those relationships that could have been/could be so much more. Lord, show me if it's time to let go or not...show me what to do because I don't know. 

Good relationships take time to develop. I'm fine with putting in the time but friendship is also a two way street. I have to say I've been dealing with feeling rejection and hurt in seeing the state of these relationships tonight. Trying to figure out how to deal with it. I know everybody is here at some point in their life. Not a fun place to be. 

One thing I do know: Jesus calls me His friend. Jesus has included me in His family. I am worth it to Him. His love never fails. Only in Him do I find peace. Only in Him can I find answers.

I have to say I do have a friend who has been dear to me this past year. She loves the Lord and has a heart of gold. My dear friend, you are a jewel in the rough world. A breath of fresh air. Thank you for being who God has called you to be and allowing Him to chip away at you and form you into the woman He wants you to be. You are awesome.

I've just got to add this because God is so awesome. So I'm sitting here typing this blog. Pouring my aching heart out and a new song comes on the radio called “You Are Wanted”.  Oh my goodness, what a perfect song for me right now. Thank you God, I so needed to hear that. Like a kiss from heaven. 

Tool or Vice

Facebook is a great tool to stay in contact with people. Especially when they live far away. It's fun to look at pics. I especially love pics of little kids. From time to time though, I decide to stay away from fb to keep myself in check. It's not that I spend a lot of time on there but I'm checking my heart motives. A few days ago I stayed off the computer, not just fb. It's amazing how many times the thought floated through my head to check this or that on the computer. Not that any of that is bad but I had to ask myself if that was the best use of my time at that moment. I found most of the time I was going there out of habit. Often I was trying to fill a need of wanting to connect with someone old enough to drive. I know many stay-at-home moms feel that way.

It made me realize that some things that are great tools can become vices. A tool is something you use to help you get a job done. A vice is something that has a hold on you from getting things done. Almost anything can be a vice. I realized these last few months that food is also a vice for me from time to time. This is a strange problem for me. I've never had to to ask myself if I'm eating because I'm hungry and if so was I making the best food choices. It's amazing how much of a grip food can have on you.

When Jesus was in the desert being tempted, Satan used the Bible against Him. You normally wouldn't think of the bible as a vice but used incorrectly, as Satan tries to do with us, it can be used as something negative. The bible is definitely NOT bad. I love God's word. Nor is food bad. You can't give up food but you can retrain yourself to think of it correctly. Your attitude and heart motive is the difference between something being used to help you or be used against you.

Now when I go on facebook, or even my computer, I ask myself what's my motive. Am I using this as a tool to help me accomplish something or am I just wasting time that could be better spent doing something else. Asking God what His perspective is can help. God is good. He will show you have to have balance.