Confession - Temptation part 4

In May I wrote a three day series on temptation.  I was dealing with a pretty strong temptation and the Lord was faithful to show me how to deal with it as I dug into the truths of His Word.  In that series I shared what I learned as I studied on temptation.  The last thing I mentioned was to confess your struggle to a friend.  Someone you know loves you and will be honest with you.  You should pray about who this should be.  I did this and the Lord dropped a name in my heart of who I should talk to.  I came up with reasons I shouldn't talk to this person but in the end I knew God was right.  This person has been trained in the specific area I was dealing with and really was the perfect person for me to talk to.  Yet, I so bad did not want to do this.  I was afraid of what she would think.  I was terribly nervous and had what I thought were great excuses to not go.  I kept praying and double checking with the Lord that this is what I really should do.  I would gladly back out if this was not God's plan.  After the third time of telling the Lord I would back out He again reminded me of what His word says about confessing:  Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  James 5:16

Submit yourselves to God.  Resist the devil and He will flee from you.

 James 4:7

Then He said not to ask Him to back out again.  I know what the Word says and if I didn't do it, it would be because I was being disobedient.  Not because He let me out of it.  I don't remember the exact wording but that was the idea and it was enough for me to shut my mouth and carry through. 

I remember stepping out of my van in front of my friend's house the day I met with her.  I said, Alright Lord, here I am.  Being obedient to you.  No matter what happens, I'm being obedient to you. 

I have to tell you, I'm glad I was.  We had small talk then got down to the heart of the matter.  By the time I left, I felt a peace because I did the right thing.  I obeyed the Lord.  And now I'm glad because every time the temptation tries to distract me, I know I have someone I will be accountable to.  I know I'm accountable to God and I know I'm accountable to my husband (who also knows what I've been dealing with) but to have that extra friend who I know knows this vulnerability about me is actually good.  I can send her a quick note asking her to pray and I know I'm not on this battlefield alone.  Just like when Moses held his hands up while Joshua was fighting the Amalekites.  Aaron and Hur came alongside Moses and held his hands steady til the battle was won. (Exodus 17:8-16)  Our friends and accountability people can come alongside us and keep our hands held high to the Lord while the battle is being fought.  We need to have this connection with each other because we need each other.  God never intended for us to fight our battles alone.  True, we are not alone because God is always with us but often times He helps us using another brother or sister in Christ.  There is NO ONE who never needs help from anyone else.  We need to sacrifice our pride and confess to each other.  Be honest with each other.  Don't be afraid to say I'm struggling here.  Forget those lies Satan is telling you that this will be damaging to your reputation because after all you are supposed to be a Christian.  Or the fear of being rejected or laughed at or gossiped about.  If you've prayed about who to talk to and God gives you a name you go to that person.  Their response is between them and God.  You're responsible for being obedient to what He told you to do.  Chances are good God won't send you to someone who will respond negatively.  God is for you.  God is for you being set apart for Him and walking purely in His sight.  He loves you and won't steer you wrong.      

My mothering reality

     A mom on my MOPS facebook page posted this.  This is so great I wanted to share it with you in case any of you are feeling this way.  http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html

I LOVE this!  I can SOOO relate.  When I read this I started sobbing.  Not crying...sobbing.  It hit the nail more on the head then I thought it would.  These last few weeks I have felt so overwhelmed.  I've felt like a failure.  I'm not sure if it's the ages of my children or that I have four children or homeschooling that brought all this on.  I felt like I was going through this alone although I was sure other mothers have felt this at some time.  God totally answered my prayer when I read this blog because I wanted...I needed to know for sure I wasn't the only one who felt like this.  I'm not going off my rocker. 

I like to encourage others and try to have a positive note on my conversations and my facebook status but don't think for a moment that doesn't mean that I don't need a pep talk or encouraging words. 

My house is noisy, very noisy and my dishes pile up.  My laundry is often behind.  I think it's funny when my mom or another empty nester tells me today is their laundry day.  I can't image a world like that.  Every day is laundry day at my house.  I have a hard time getting things folded.  If I need a towel or washcloth I try to find one out of the clean basket because I figure that's one less thing I need to fold. 

Parenting is hard.  With three of my kids so close in age I feel like I just get out of one stage and I'm back in it again with the next child.  Parenting is hard....but I love it.  I love being a mom and I love my kiddos so so SO much.  It is challenging having four but I can't imagine life without a single one.  But I do get overwhelmed from time to time.  I end up crying hard every couple of months and those times can be hard. 

I'm not saying this for a pity party or for you to feel sorry for me.  I want to be honest with you and give you a glimpse at the reality of my life.  For some reason I think some might be surprised at these things.  Really we moms and women have a lot more in common then we might think we do.  I hope to encourage someone else who may be going through this moment in their life.  You're not the only one!  I can understand.  I can relate.  I was talking to a friend yesterday and discovered she had been feeling this way for awhile too.  I had no idea she was going through this now.

The only thing I'd like to add to the link I posted was you can do it with Christ's help.  On my own I don't think I could do mothering and homeschooling, housekeeping and being a wife.  Only with the God's help can I do any of this. 

Please feel free to leave a comment if you've been feeling this way too.  It's good to know we aren't alone.

Night's landscape

Last week my husband and I were able to get a sitter for the kids and we enjoyed the evening together at his cousin's wedding. The wedding and reception were at a ballroom in the middle of the country, between cornfields. Not a place I would have looked to find a ballroom but it was beautiful . When we were driving home I was noticing how different the landscape appeared against the night sky. I know in my mind that everything is as it was in the day yet it looked so different. The few buildings that had lights along the gravel paths of the country roads really shone brightly. I noticed so much more detail on and around those building then I did during the daylight. Actually I barely even noticed those buildings were there during the day.

They say a persons character really shines through, whether good or bad, when they are faced with difficult circumstances or stressful situations. What is on the inside, at the heart of the person, will come out in those moments. During a normal day, in the stability of our western culture, these characteristics don't normally shine through and the beautiful details of a person can go unnoticed like a building on a country road in plain daylight. Put it against the backdrop of darkness however and the details and character of a persons heart will shine. Just like the stars at night. We don't see their beauty during the day because the sun is to bright and blocks them, but at night they shine gloriously. The darker the night, the fuller their beauty.

For all those who are storing up the treasure of God's Word in your heart and allowing God to mold you into what He wants you to be, know that there is a time coming that God has purposed for you to shine like stars in our darkened world. It may be that the people we run into during the week are going through a difficult time and we are the one to shine the light of Jesus at just the right time to help them through the next hour of their night. You never know what someone may be going through. You never know when you may be the one with a hardpressing situation that draws out what is in you. We can be ready for those moments by diving in the Word of God EVERY day and allowing Him to shape us as we surrender to Him. If you feel like those buildings that in the light of day were barely noticed, remember God knows you're there. Continue to shine brightly for Him. When darkness comes you will be a beautiful place of refuge. A fortress of rest.

My voice

 Thursday evening I went outside and enjoyed the nice weather with my family.  The kids played on the swingset and I played basketball with my husband and oldest daughter.  As soon as we went inside I felt congestion behind my eyes.  My eyes started to water and I began to sneeze.  Allergies had kicked in.  Usually I can shake them within a day, so I took a shower to wash off the pollens and drank a lot of water.  I didn't shake it as fast this time and I ended up with a sore throat that caused me to use my voice less.  It made me think about what I'm using my voice for.  What am I saying and what message am I sending out?  Am I using my voice wisely?  Personally I want to be sure I'm using my voice to reflect Christ.  To be encouraging, loving, helpful or teaching anyone God sends my way but especially my family and my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

It's certainly helped me to listen more and talk less.  Some of you know me as a quiet person but at home I can talk a lot.  Just ask my husbandJ  My favorite subject is things the Lord has been showing me and what I've been learning in the bible, some of which ends up in my blog.  Oh and homeschooling and kids, I can talk awhile on those things too.  I've found myself choosing my words more carefully because I don't want to hurt my throat more.  Is what I think I should say worth my throat hurting?  I've discovered negative things I can leave out but also I've realized many things I should say to people but don't.  Even when my throat is fine.  Take for example greeting time at church.  In my church we have a time of greeting and you go around saying hi, shaking hands and hugging necks.  Today I found myself thinking how dear some of these people are to me then realized I don't know if I have ever told them so.  I'm not sure if I've ever told them they're important or the beauty I see in them.  I really need to do that more.  I'm not a big small talker.  I like to get to the meat of a subject but sometimes the smallest phrase can encourage someone and show them God's love.   

Though I don't enjoy having a sore throat or losing my voice it always makes me reevaluate what I'm saying and why.  That's a good reminder for all of us.  Also, when I get better, I always have this renewed boldness with a sense of purpose and meaning. 

Sing to the LORD, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.      Psalm 96:2   

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"  Isaiah 52:7

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.  Ephesians 5:19 

A picture of love

I've been diving into learning about love.  It is a characteristic that I should have pouring out of me as a follower of Christ.  It is of great importance that we are living a life of love.  Love is huge to God, God IS love.  So I'm diving into this and I'm reading I John because he talks about it alot.  One of my big questions is what does love look like?  Perfect love, divine love what does it look like in every day life?  I have my ideas but I want God's picture on the matter. 

The other day I was feeling crabby and I was desperately needing some time away from the kids for awhile.  Sometimes moms just get to that point but at this particular moment I couldn't really get away so I tried to work with it and I told my 3 and 5 year old they needed to go play in the girl's room and leave me alone for awhile.  My 3yr old got the message and started to go to her room.  My 5yr old started to pout and didn't want to leave.  I said son you need to leave me alone for awhile.  I was crabby and a bit short with him but he slowly left.  I continued my filing and as I walked through the schoolroom I could hear my son say to his sister, "Shhh, I'm making a surprise for mom."  My heart started to soften.  A few minutes later my son said, "Mom, do you want to find a surprise I made for you.  I hide it in the school room, …in the crayons…"  He led me to the crayons and opened the container.  "See, I buried them under the crayons."  He took out a folded piece of paper which had another folded piece of paper in it.  Then he showed me the picture he made for me and started to tell me about it.  "Do you want me to read it to you?"  "Sure" I said.  "It says I love you.  Do you like it?"  How wonderful for this little boy, that I was just short with, to make me a picture.  That was his response to me even after I was short with him.  He quickly forgave my shortcomings and showed me love, which softened and touched my heart.  Now that was a picture of love.