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Hello!  I have moved this blog to wordpress.  You can find me at http://howiejom.wordpress.com/
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Surprise lesson for mom

My son and daughter were having a hard time getting along. There are times they play together great. Like they're the best of friends. Most moments though, my boys play together and my daughter, who is in between the boys in age, feels left out. My husband and I found out my oldest son says his little sister is to loud and that's why he doesn't like to play with her. We could certainly understand that. She is loud. So we just let it go. That was a mistake.

During the next few days my son would tell his sister, “I don't want to play with you. You're to loud! Leave me alone.” I could see this was not going well. I didn't want my daughter to have this label of being “loud” branded on her. As I thought about it and watched her the next few days I could see she isn't trying to be “loud”. She's a very expressive person. She really gets into her stories and comments. You have no doubt how she feels because she shows it in her voice and body language. It's actually one of the things I like about her. She's good at conveying her thoughts and feelings. I believe she'll learn how to handle things with more tact as she gets older. (She's only in kindergarten.) In the meantime I want my son to learn to love her and be kind to her. I prayed that the Lord would show me how to turn this into a good character building lesson for all of them.

On Monday we all gathered at the table after breakfast to start our homeschooling day with a devotional as we do most school mornings. (On Mondays I always read the Spelling story for devotions. The curriculum I use has a story at the beginning of the week that teach them biblical character along with the spelling words.) The devotional that morning was perfect. The kids in the story had to write something they liked about everyone in their classroom. Then everyone got a piece of paper with all the qualities their classmates like about them. I've done this project when I was a teenager and it had quite an impact on me. It was the perfect solution. I had my children say two things they liked about everyone in the family. This caused my son to think of the things he liked about his sister. It also showed my daughter that there are so many great things about her. This solved both my problems at the same time. It also had a surprising lesson in it for me. Since most of my children are to young to spell and write well, I took them in a room separately and wrote what they liked about everyone. Through this I learned what is important to each of my children. What makes them tick and speaks love to them. Bottom line was, playing with them and spending time together is what speaks love to them most. I thought to myself how many times my children come to me and want me to play with them and most of the time I can't because I'm cooking or housecleaning or trying to do something else. I really need to try to say yes to playing with them more often. I know there are times I truly can't but I was better at saying yes to them a few months ago. I just need to be intentional about it again.

“You should be like one big happy family, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.” I Peter 3:8    

Overcomer

When I found out I was pregnant with my last son, I took it hard. We wanted more children but it was so soon to when I had my daughter. I didn't feel like I was ready for another baby...or another pregnancy. My pregnancies are rough on me. Between really bad morning sickness for four months or more, to my babies trying to come to early.

When I was seven months pregnant I went to a women's retreat. The speaker was talking about names. There are names and labels we have on us from the past but God also has names for us. Those names are true.

Out of a crowd of about 100-200 women she pointed out a few the Lord lead her to. She pointed to me and said you've had a hard pregnancy but the Lord says you're an overcomer. She wrote “Overcomer” on a piece of paper and gave it to me. I use it as a bookmark in my bible. Occasionally I'll come across it, usually on the days I need it most, and I remember to view myself and my life as the Lord does.

I tend to view myself and my life according to my circumstances but without troubles of life I would miss seeing the awesome power of God that reaches into my life to transform me into an overcomer. A “perfect” life sounds so appealing to me but Jesus didn't come to redeem “perfect” people. He came to redeem those who need help, for those whose lives are messy and broken. I've learned making mistakes and having heartaches in this life are nothing to be ashamed of. Jesus said, “ In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

“They overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony...” Revelation 12:11

It is through Jesus we have the power to overcome. 

Overcome – To conquer: defeat. To prevail over: surmount. To affect deeply. (Webster's Dictionary) Overcoming things on our own is difficult and sometimes impossible, but with Jesus it's a whole new story. With Jesus we can overcome our fears, guilt, depression, regret... I'm not saying it's easy. I am saying God has given us a gift that because of the blood of Jesus those of us who choose to be the Lord's are sealed with the Holy Spirit. In Him there is power to live the life Christ has for us. Power to be an overcomer. 

I've had a rough week of the enemy throwing all sorts of stuff at me. Using my mind, my past and my fears against me. As my mind struggles to focus on Christ I feel a very real battle going on. It's in those moments I must choose to not only believe but to act upon the fact that, “greater is He that is in me then he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4) I must choose to believe what God says about me is true. I must cast off the things that so easily entangle me and allow His Holy Spirit to rise up in me with purpose, power and love. As I allow the Holy Spirit to rise up in me it leaves no room for the enemy to feast on my weaknesses. 

I can't think of a better way to end this post then with this very powerful video that speaks what I've been talking about.

My Beautiful Mess

A beautiful mess. That's the theme this year for MOPS. Beautiful and mess. Those are two words I never thought I'd put together. Yet there they were, starring at me. I pondered on it awhile and it's so true.

With four kids I certainly have plenty of messes around the house. You can almost always count on finding a mess in my son's room. No matter how many times I have him clean it, it seems to be a mess again in ten minutes. Under the dining room table is another place that I can't keep clean. I sweep. Somehow food just shows up. There's piles of laundry, loads of dishes and no matter how hard I try those videos don't stay alphabetized. Yet, there is beauty in it. We have clothes to wear, food to eat, silly shows to keep us entertained and I have children. I am so blessed to have children. 

It really used to bother me that my house wasn't in perfect order. I tried to keep it that way, but realized I was spending every moment of the day cleaning and I became a grump. That's not the kind of mom I wanted to be. The height of it came after the birth of my third child. I was trying to keep the house in perfect order, have dinner ready every day when my husband came home, have the children perfectly obedient and do a great job homeschooling. Needless to say, I was filled with anxiety, depressed and constantly felt like a failure. After a few talks with my Pastor I realized I have a perfectionist personality. I had to take a hard look into my heart and realize what was and wasn't important. My relationship with my husband and children far outweighed an orderly home. Also being an example of balance for my children is important to me. They need to learn cleanliness and order but there must be time for play. I may have to force myself to look past the glitter on the table, the floor and in my child's hair and remind myself what's important is creating, learning and loving life together. I believe God wants us to enjoy the life He's given us.

It doesn't just stop with the order of our house though. It goes into the order of our lives. Sometimes mine feels like a mess to me. Maybe not a complete mess but certainly not as orderly and tidy as I want it to look and let's not look at my past because...well...oh my...not neat and tidy for sure!  For starters I've been divorced and everyone knows that's a no-no for a Christian. I often felt like there's a red letter D stamped on my forehead. Yet I can tell you God has taken my “mess” and made it beautiful. Praise God for His amazing grace! Out of His mercy He takes our banged up and broken lives and turns them into something beautiful. 

God isn't afraid of our messes. Jesus wasn't concerned about the tomb stinking when He raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11:38-44). He wasn't concerned about the plotting that was going on around Him before He was crucified. He knew all these things would be made beautiful and God would be glorified. It seems the more impossible the situation the more beautiful His light shines through.

A beautiful mess. After pondering on those words I say them and smile. I smile because God has blessed me with a husband and children. I smile because I know how awesome God is. I smile, with a sigh of relief, because I'm letting go of perfection and letting God turn my mess into His something beautiful.   

Fall Schedule

 

My son is a first grader and learning about seasons in science.  He was learning how the animals are very busy during the fall to prepare for winter.  It reminded me of how many of us are busy in the fall with our new fall schedules.  There are opportunities to do so many things, but each thing is a commitment of time and all of us have only so many slots of time available to us.

My kids have chores they are expected to do every day.  When they complete their chores they are given rewards.  One of those rewards is a ticket.  I have prizes in boxes.  There is a one ticket prize box, a two ticket prize box, a three ticket prize box and other special rewards they can get with four tickets.  My son was learning the other day to make wise decisions.  Spend now or save and get what he really wanted later.  He was learning but didn't like the lesson.  After much pouting and resisting on his part, he finally learned to be wise with his choices.  He choose to save and do another chore so he could get the prize he really wanted.  That was a proud mama moment for me :)

Just like my son learning to be wise how he spent his tickets I'm learning (once again) to be wise with the slots of time I have.  I have to stick with what's valuable to me.  Which is time with my kids to homeschool, time with my family to play, time with my husband, time for God and time for myself to unwind and/or be with friends.  There's only so much I can do each day.  What will I choose?

Even what I think is good for me isn't always the best call.  I continuously pray for the Lord's guidance as I make these choices.  He is faithful as He closes doors that I desperately wanted open.  Just a few days ago the door was closed on three different things.  I really wanted to do two of them.  I pouted and was crabby but all the while knew God knows what's best for my family and I.  I must continue to trust that He knows what He's doing and He's in control. 

I don't take my decisions lightly and I must stick to what I value or my life will easily get off balance.  I'm so glad God's goodness is there to cover me and guide me as I listen to Him.

Here & Now

My husband and I celebrated our anniversary by watching our wedding video with our two oldest kids.  It's amazing to see how time truly does go so fast.  My daughter was the flower girl.  She seemed so little then.  Now she's almost as tall as I am. 

It really doesn't seem that long ago yet it's been a lifetime ago.  Since then we've added three beautiful children.  They put so much joy in our lives.  

I know people say your wedding day is one of the best days of your life.  As my husband and I watched the video we were recalling how stressful of a day it was.  You can tell in some of the pictures that we weren't very relaxed. 

That moment was beautiful in that it was a turning point as we became husband and wife.  Our lives were changed as we joined our hearts in a commitment before the Lord. 

Changed for the better.  I have to say I enjoy life so much better now then I did then.  Even my husband and I's relationship is more solid.  More stable. 


In Loving Memory

I was surprised that I counted about eight people that came to our wedding who have passed away since.  I also realized I haven't seen most of the people I used to work with since my wedding day.  However, I have met so many wonderful people since that day.  They don't replace those I no longer see but certainly add to my life here & now. 

I don't want to be a person who lives in the past.  Instead I want to cherish all I have now and look to the future with great expectation and wonder as to which way God is leading us.  His ways often seems strange to me.  He is always good.  A giver of life.  My healer.  Celebrating our special day simply reminded me to cherish today.  To live and love the here & now. 

Room for a King

One of the things I like about owning our home is decorating and painting. Putting some of myself into the house. I decided before we moved in to dedicate the dining room to Jesus. A room fit for a King. (I know it may sound corny but stick with me. My love for Jesus makes me sound corny from time to time.)

It's been a few years now and we haven't had the money or time to makeover the dining room. I was sitting at the dining room table and telling the Lord I'm sorry I haven't hardly touched the room. About that time I glanced up at the TV in the living room and there was a travel show on showing the beautiful cathedrals full of golden chairs, the best fabrics and breath-taking art and stained glass. Every detail was grand.


At that moment it struck me that people go to great lengths to dedicate buildings, rooms, homes, pieces of art, etc. to God, yet what He really wants is our heart. The dedication of our heart, our life, our ALL is worth more to the Lord then all the jewels in the world. It's a relationship with us Jesus is interested in. I still plan to go ahead with my plans for the room fit for a King. What Jesus really wants to know is, do you have room in your heart for me?